With our routines and world upended by the Shelter in Place Order that affects all of California, we are looking for ways to stay connected during a mandate to physically stay apart from one another. This is a continuation of our time together, even though we’re in different spaces.
Opening Hymn • Immortal, Invisible, God Only Wise • Page 66, Chalice Hymnal
Invocation
Lay Leader: Sandy Chaille
God, you call us to love our neighbor as ourselves;
the one who is weak and the one who is strong,
the one who is happy and the one who is sad,
the one who is enjoying mental wellness today
and the one who is struggling with mental illness today,
the one whom we understand and the one we don’t,
the one who is embraced and the one who is shunned,
the one who is like us and the one who is different.
As we worship today, bless us with your love
that never leaves us alone, excluded, or othered
and help us to shine that same love into the world.
Amen.
Special Music
Performed by Mary Jo Renner
Tithes and Offerings
Checks can be mailed to:
Grace Community Church
C/O Rene Horton
P.O. Box 368
Auberry, CA 93602
Holy Scripture • Psalm 66:8-20
Lay Leader: Sandy Chaille
Children’s Time
Faith formation resources for families and those who like to color as prayer.
Gospel Reading • John 14:15-21
Lay Leader: Sandy Chaille
Church at Prayer and The Lord’s Prayer
All are invited to email me prayer requests for next week’s prayer, or to get in touch any time during the week. We are in the midst of an unprecidented global event, and I am available as a compassionate ear if you find you need to talk through what’s going on.
Hymn • Spirit of the Living God • Page 259, Chalice Hymnal
The Message
Sermon Transcript
Last week I had hit my limit. I have some friends who have been keeping count of the days since they began sheltering-in-place as a family, I’m not that organized so I think we’re into the 60s, but honestly, some days it feels like we’ve been doing this for 6 years. I knew I had hit my limit when the tiniest edge of an envelope got torn accidentally and I started to cry. Not like, the cute little single tear or even the shaking lower lip, shuddering sigh kind of crying. This was the UGLY CRY. Those who have experience the ugly cry know the power of a good ugly cry. I honestly don’t think I’ve had a good ugly cry like this in 4 or 5 years. I sobbed. I wailed. I had the tears, the snot, the arms in the air wildly gesturing to God that I was not okay because THIS ENVELOPE TORE. And then I was fine, or so I thought until I received a frustrating phone call that caused me to hang up and scream for 45 seconds straight.
For those of us with an instant pot, it’s kind of like that moment when the cooking has finished and you get to push the button to release all that steam from the pressure cooker. That’s kind of what those two events felt like. After I finished my scream, I straightened up a bit, looked at Chris and was like, “Yeah, okay. I’m good now. By the way, did you know next Sunday is Mental Health Sunday?”
It feels like Mental Health Sunday couldn’t have come at a better time, even though technically it is always observed by the United Church of Christ on the third Sunday of May every year. I read an article this week called, “We have begun the dreaded third quarter of isolation, when — yes — things get weird” which examined the experiences of those who have gone into voluntarily isolated situations—notably those who have worked in remote areas like antarctica or space—and then applied those findings to the involuntary isolation of sheltering in place. What it confirms is that, yep, if you’re feeling a little extra on edge, emotional, or aggressive, then you’re not alone. In a situation where the duration of time in isolation is known, “Typically, mood and morale reach their [lowest point] somewhere between the one-half and two-thirds mark of the mission,” according to one review. The third quarter can extend, however, if something happens to prevent the mission from coming to completion, so if there is inclement weather that causes flights to be grounded for an extra length of time, then the third quarter phenomenon can stretch on until travel home can be made safely. The writer of the article compares COVID to this, saying that we’ve reached a 3/4s mark in our minds. We can see the curve flattening, some businesses are opening back up, and we’re eager to get back out in the world again. However, since we don’t know what it will look like when we do start getting out more often, there’s an indeterminate amount of time ahead of us due to a second wave of infection or other factors. We’re essentially trapped in a third quarter weirdness loop right now, we’ve experienced all the quirky fun of making our own sourdough starter or backyard campouts. The novelty of the Novel Coronavirus has worn off. The cuddle time with our young ones that was so delightful 4 or 5 weeks ago is beginning to make us feel like we’re over-stimulated and touched-out. The joy at finally having time to read the stack of books or tackling the big home improvement projects has worn thin, and we’re sick of being in the same surroundings day in and day out. Some of us have been working through this pandemic, frustrated by the lack of PPE, ears raw and red from the elastic on face masks tugging at them all day, filled with worry about exposure to the virus that might then get brought into the home and infect loved ones. Clearly, a Sunday devoted to mental health is timely for us right now.
The Psalmist who wrote Psalm 66 sounds like they had experienced the weirdness of the third quarter, as well. “For you, O God, have tested us; / you have tried us as silver is tried. / You brought us into the net; / you laid burdens on our backs; / you let people ride over our heads; we went through fire and through water; / yet you have brought us out to a spacious place.” When I read it I can feel the frustration of being pushed to one’s limits, of a community being pushed to their limits of what they can handle. I can easily read this and insert my own experiences in between the lines, “You have brought us into the net, (and for the community good, kept us in our homes) / You laid burdens on our backs; (as we were tasked with working from home while managing our children’s distance learning and still trying to buoy everyone’s morale) / You let people ride over our heads; (While a virus with deadly potential spread exponentially) / We went through fire and water; (We went from our nighttime pajamas into our slightly fancier daytime pajamas and felt the lethargy of depression or the pin-pricks of anxiety) / yet you have brought us out to a spacious place. We haven’t yet reached the spacious place in our own time of trial, that mark between fire and water and the spacious place? That’s where the psalmist’s third quarter took place.
And yet, we can see from both this psalm and from the article about Antarctic and space explorers that there is eventually a time when we come out of the extended journey, the third quarter doesn’t drag on forever, even though while you’re in it, it feels like it will never end.
What does this have to do with mental health, then? For those of us with mental health concerns, we might be able to give a few pointers to anyone who has may have never experienced some of the things we’re collectively experiencing globally. When it comes to anxiety about the future and wondering how long this might drag out, grounding techniques are useful to bring oneself down from feelings of panic. Finding ways to connect with one’s immediate surroundings is a good way, and it has been recommended to find some way to engage each of the senses. So, if I were to use my current surroundings as an example, “I can see my peach tree, heavy with fruit. I hear birds singing directly behind me in the tree. I taste the cinnamon I added to my coffee this morning. I can touch the pages of my biblical commentary as I fan them out. I smell the grass damp with dew.” Deep breaths help too. And if the feeling is a low-grade “UGH” as you’re moving through your day, and you’re finding it harder to get out of bed at a normal hour or enjoy the things that normally would make your soul sing (or at least make your momentarily joyful), a few tools from the depression toolbox might be useful—do something active, exercise helps with lifting mood. Check your eating habits, especially if this is your first bout with these kinds of lows. Depression and low mood can make us want to comfort eat, but make sure you’re also throwing in a good helping of fresh, healthy food into your body. I mean, when I hear this advice, I automatically am like, strawberries on my ice cream, check.” It can also be helpful just to put words to your worries. Write them down. Say them out loud. Name them in prayer. This isn’t the same as sitting there chanting to yourself “OMG I CANT’T PAY MY PHONE BILL OMG I CNT PAY MY PHONE BILL.” This is more to bring what is worrying you and bringing your down to light, to expose it to air, in hopes that it loses some of it’s sting. Keeping blessings journal, or recognizing one good thing for every negative thought is also one way to counteract and keep negative thoughts in check.
Of course, this doesn’t always work. And if these things don’t work, therapists are indispensable. There are so many ways to have access to quality talk therapy these days, even while we’re unable to physically sit on the therapist’s couch. And there are warm lines provided by many behavioral health wings of local county government if you just need to talk through a particularly hairy episode of third quarter weirdness. Links to these resources will be provided below the transcript of this sermon.
One in four folks are living with mental health challenges, but we know that the health of one person can affect more people than just that one in four. Caring for the mental wellbeing of each other is an exercise in caring for our community as a whole. In our Gospel reading today, we are given the promise that we are not alone, we will not be forgotten or orphaned by God. Love is a central theme and essential to our connection to the Holy. If we continue to love one another as Christ has loved us, then we are certainly never going to be abandoned. But how, when we’re talking about mental health, can we know we are “loving” one another, especially as we get further into the agitation, irritability, and crummy bad mood days of the dreaded third quarter? Love isn’t always a romantic gesture. Love can look like setting boundaries and telling your housemates, “Look, I’m struggling today. It’s not any of your fault, but I am asking for some grace and a whole lot of support.” It can manifest in taking a cup of tea to your partner wo hasn’t stopped staring at the same place on the wall in 20 minutes. Love doesn’t judge, or demand someone to do more than they can, and it is important to remember that this goes for ourselves as well. Loving one another as Jesus loved us means also extending the same grace to ourselves that we would to someone else. Love is taking the active steps necessary to care for ourselves when we’re experiencing mental distress, including self-care, taking a day off, or picking up the phone and reaching out to a professional. In the John reading, Jesus says he will send an Advocate, and this the Spirit, which is a bridge between Him and the people, a way to make the love of God accessible even when Jesus has gone. Advocacy is a powerful word in the mental health world, when sometimes our mental health episodes go beyond what we can handle ourselves through deep breathing and taking a brisk walk. We have access to God’s steadfast love, but remember it’s totally fine to be deeply loved by God while dialing the psychiatrist’s office to make an appointment. I have a sticker on my laptop that says “It’s ok to have Jesus and a therapist too.”
And once we’ve come out of the third quarter, once we’ve been through water and fire, when the wide open spaces God has provided for us appear, and when this is all over, we should look at what we took from this time, the great strides we made to care for ourselves and others. Instead of going right back to normal, what did we find helped us maintain or regain a healthy mental state while in the extreme situation of sheltering in place? The article suggested that after spending time in isolation, many people find that, even with the dreaded third quarter, they wanted to return to it. I’m not sure we’ll all be itching to shelter in place quite so strictly, nor do I think we out to cross our fingers and hope for another pandemic, but I think we may experience a similar sense of wanting to return to some of the things we’ve learned in this time. I learned that I can’t just push push push until eventually I scream, and asking for help and for space is something that I have to do to maintain balance. There are projections that women may emerge from this time more confident in their abilities and men may be more ready to seek the advice and help of their community. How has this time changed you? How have you loved deeper in it? What small things have you found joy in that you never would have discovered otherwise? These are the things that lead to the fourth quarter expression of thanksgiving and gratitude we heard in the psalm.
This mental health Sunday, I encourage each of us to do a check in with ourselves to see how we are feeling today, at this moment. Extend yourself some love and grace where it might be needed, we won’t be in the weird third quarter forever, but we don’t know quite when we will be out of it either. Remember how God has been faithful and steadfast to God’s people, and suffering isn’t some divine punishment for our iniquities, but instead can provide a pathway to God’s open arms, where we will be strengthened and come out on the other end with some new tricks for how to handle even the hardest times. To end today, don’t worry, I won’t scream for 45 seconds straight. Instead, we’ll finish out with the last lines of the psalm;
But truly God has listened;
He has given heed to the words of my prayer.
20 Blessed be God,
because he has not rejected my prayer
or removed his steadfast love from me. Amen.
Mental Health Resources
- Crisis Line: 888.275.9799 or 559.673-3508
- Central Valley Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1.888.506.5991
- Veterans Crisis Line: 1.800.273-8255
- Crisis Text Line: 741-741
- The Trevor Line: 866.488.7386. The Trevor Lifeline connects lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning (LGBTQ) persons to a suicide prevention and counseling phone line with access to trained counselors 24/7.
- The Friendship Line: 800.971.0016. The Friendship Line for Older Adults, Ages 60+ or Family and Friends. A crisis intervention, support and resource line for older adults.
- North Valley Talk Line: 855.582.5554. The Northern Valley Talk Line, provided by Northern Valley Catholic Social Services (NVCSS), is a non-crisis warm line offering peer to peer support, compassionate listening and county-wide resource referrals.
- United Church of Christ Mental Health Network
- National Alliance on Mental Illness
- Mental Health and Coping During COVID-19
Closing Hymn • Holy Spirit, Truth Divine • Page 241, Chalice Hymnal